HUMAN EYES

I had an interesting talk with a male client who portrays his weakness as “being very naive”. This is the first man I’ve met who admitted his naivety and I do feel it in him.

In a couple of times in my life so far, I’ve been told that I’m so naive and they have my agreement. Years ago, I struggled a lot in my mind when I grew up because I didn’t understand why people told lies. Why didn’t they just tell the truth? Why did they make a lot of assumptions on others’ behaviors and act upon them? Why did they say something in front and do the opposite behind? As a child, I could also easily notice when someone was trying to show off through his voice and body languages. The world of adultes was so unnecessarily chaotic and sophisticated in my eyes. But anyway, I grew up and became an adult unavoidably. And my behaviour to protest the dummy world was to stay quiet and not really look into anyone’s face when I talked to them because I didn’t want to be handled and in some situations I didn’t want to see their facial expression. Eyes tell a lot, you know.

Those who don’t lie or can’t lie know very exactly when they try to tell a lie, they feel a blockage in their throats and a repeating thought in their minds “I did tell a lie” and it’s very annoying =)) My client said that because he’s so afraid about any of his manners could be used as an judgement towards his family’s face, he defends himself by looking at anything but the counterpart’s eyes in any conversation. Thus, his not using eye contact makes him be seen as he is covering something in his head =)) Same to me =)) Even though at the present, I’m no longer scared of people, I’m no longer afraid of being hurt and I no longer use quietness as a weapon to protect myself, as a habit, I still haven’t had a good eye contact yet =)) Whether I look up to the ceilings, to the windows, to a plant or an animal or down to the floor, it is because I’m trying to make my thoughts clear to say it out, not to make up a story, hahahahahaha =)) I’m seen as being shy too when I don’t talk much but actually I feel very pleasant when I stay quiet because I do enjoy seeing people talking. What I meant here is that behaviours tell a lot according to common sense, but there are many situations beyond common sense so we need a pair of glasses more extraordinary than human eyes to see things through. I may call them the eyes of kindness. With the eyes of kindness, we can see in a violent father a miserable man who just doesn’t know yet how to make things work well without using power; we can see in a lying kid his worry of not being loved when he tells the truth, and so on. The world will become less chaotic when everyone is too busy seeing the beauties underlying themselves and around them.

 

Back to the client, I terribly want to tell him that being naive is a precious gift. It would not lead him to the powerful majority but would lead him to God. It will lead to a struggle for a while for a question “There must be something out there over the chaos I have been shown” but then it will direct us to the eyes of the heart, of kindness and tolerance, to the infinite love and freedom that God always guides us to discover. Just go ahead, Rome is right there.